I was just reading an article on women's self esteem...a topic ever in my mind being a mama of daughters, as many of you are I'm sure....I've just realised it's so much easier to say we're thinking of others needs rather than our own isn't it....Hah, as if my self esteem is so robust this couldn't apply to me.. I'd be lying!
Let's be honest, it only takes a shopping trip into town with my daughters to send my sense of self self running for the hills, fully clothed!!! Ten minutes in a cramped New Look changing room is enough to shatter my self esteem for the rest of the day, and put an unhealthy dent in my gorgeous daughters too!
Luckily I'm receptive to a latte pick me up and an almond slice but you get my point....stripped to our undies, under the unforgiving glare of flourescent lights, in a 3 ft sq cubicle with panoramic mirrors, even my lovely daughters notice dimples they didn't know they had and recoil in horror! What hope do us ladies of status have?
Well it appears we are spending too much time looking in the wrong mirrors! Focusing too much on our bodies, our self image, and depending on this for affirmation of our worth, rather than looking to other areas of our lives and achievements for positive feedback.
"while body image is important, it is only one of the things that affects self-esteem. So we help women gain confidence in their parenting skills, jobs, relationships and ability to meet their aspirations, working with them to take control of all aspects of their lives, not just what they eat and how they look."http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/may/30/esteem-key-womens-mental-health
Of course in theory like you I know this...but what it made me realise is that with the ever rising prevalance of eating disorders in our societies, particularly amoung young women, there is quite possibly more we need to be doing to help women feel accomplished and self assured in key areas of their lives, so that they don't feel the only area they can exercise control, is in their eating and appearance as the aritcle suggests.......
And I have to wonder why don't women have confidence in their parenting skills, and a sense of control in their jobs, and relationships, and their own capacity to fulfill their dreams?
Is this a new phenomena? Is it a reflection on the breaking down of traditional gender roles which reinforced the value of house keeping for example, and motherhood?
If eating disorders and fragile self esteem are a consequence of a lack of self efficacy and sense of control in women's lives in general, what part has society had to play in this? Was it ever any different? Has feminism helped or hindered women's self esteem? I realise this is a controversial question? But perhaps the answer isn't so simple after all!? Are we paying too high a price for social progress? Have women always looked at their naked bodies with self loathing? As far as I'm aware women have never before been expected to look good naked, except in the subjective eyes of their partners...is it putting too much pressure on us, on our emotional health? Where is the root of this problem, where is the pressure really coming from....and what can we do about it?
As a therapist I have to ask myself these important questions...as a mother I have to make it my duty to find answers!
Let's be honest, it only takes a shopping trip into town with my daughters to send my sense of self self running for the hills, fully clothed!!! Ten minutes in a cramped New Look changing room is enough to shatter my self esteem for the rest of the day, and put an unhealthy dent in my gorgeous daughters too!
Luckily I'm receptive to a latte pick me up and an almond slice but you get my point....stripped to our undies, under the unforgiving glare of flourescent lights, in a 3 ft sq cubicle with panoramic mirrors, even my lovely daughters notice dimples they didn't know they had and recoil in horror! What hope do us ladies of status have?
Well it appears we are spending too much time looking in the wrong mirrors! Focusing too much on our bodies, our self image, and depending on this for affirmation of our worth, rather than looking to other areas of our lives and achievements for positive feedback.
"while body image is important, it is only one of the things that affects self-esteem. So we help women gain confidence in their parenting skills, jobs, relationships and ability to meet their aspirations, working with them to take control of all aspects of their lives, not just what they eat and how they look."http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/may/30/esteem-key-womens-mental-health
Of course in theory like you I know this...but what it made me realise is that with the ever rising prevalance of eating disorders in our societies, particularly amoung young women, there is quite possibly more we need to be doing to help women feel accomplished and self assured in key areas of their lives, so that they don't feel the only area they can exercise control, is in their eating and appearance as the aritcle suggests.......
And I have to wonder why don't women have confidence in their parenting skills, and a sense of control in their jobs, and relationships, and their own capacity to fulfill their dreams?
Is this a new phenomena? Is it a reflection on the breaking down of traditional gender roles which reinforced the value of house keeping for example, and motherhood?
If eating disorders and fragile self esteem are a consequence of a lack of self efficacy and sense of control in women's lives in general, what part has society had to play in this? Was it ever any different? Has feminism helped or hindered women's self esteem? I realise this is a controversial question? But perhaps the answer isn't so simple after all!? Are we paying too high a price for social progress? Have women always looked at their naked bodies with self loathing? As far as I'm aware women have never before been expected to look good naked, except in the subjective eyes of their partners...is it putting too much pressure on us, on our emotional health? Where is the root of this problem, where is the pressure really coming from....and what can we do about it?
As a therapist I have to ask myself these important questions...as a mother I have to make it my duty to find answers!
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