My thoughts on Long distance long distance romance...
I guess the biggest issue in a long distance relationship is fidelity. You both need to have an understanding of what this will involve and be realistic about it. Can you both manage solo inbetween reunions or are you likely to need companionship? It's easy to say you'll cope when you're together, but if it's months inbetween physical connections it can be very hard to maintain for some people and trust is the key to any good relationship.....but espeically a long distance one. Without trust, whatever the agreement there is bound to be an unbearable level of anxiety and this is not good for anyone's health, emotional or physical. I say whatever the arrangement excepting that everyone's different and some peoples terms of agreement maybe more permissable than others.
Communication is central to this relationship....it IS the relationship, for a good part of the time, whether on skype, txt, or phone......how you communicate, what you communicate and how effectively your communication meets each others needs will determine the sucess of your relationship. Keeping contact frequent and yet fresh is a challage so get creative. Just like in any relaitonship but x 10 at least. If you would dress up for your partner when your together you should try to do the same for your skype dates. Keepin it fresh and sassy keeps it alive!
Be open to stretching your boundaries around exposure....but remain conscious of what feels right for you and try not to get pushed right out of your comfort zone. It's easy because of the apparent privacy of this style of relating to feel a little disconnected and maybe feel less inhibited about your actions. This can be great fun at the time, but just be aware that who you are on screen needs to match who you're prepared to be in person next time you get together!
Be mindful of pictures that identify you. The long term stakes of these kind of games can be disasterous if things go wrong!
When I think back to times gone by, periods in history when couples had to cope with long times apart routinely, war times for example. I wonder how they managed without skype and face time phones.....but I supose they didn't have the same expectations as us.....and actually it was proabably easier in some ways with less pressure to be available 24/7. People wrote letters...I think that's so romantic. Surprising each other in a long distance relationship is part of the fun of it too. Surprise letters, pics, deliveries.......visits.....poems and songs on youtube are just a few ideas to keep connected while you wait.
How are you at waiting? I'm not so good....I can only go a couple of months and I'm desperate to run away. Waiting is part of this lifestyle...it's the hardest part.....but the reunions are so worth the wait that all those weeks of frustration and lonliness melt away in an instant when you get back into each others arms.
In some ways I actually think a long distance relationship prolongs the dating and youthful early stages of a relationship...the courtship....and can be great fun for years... and definately if you can stand it, this sort of relationship can deliver much more passion and more excitement than you would get from your typical fella next door senario!
It's a demanding, creative dynamic, one that taxes a relationship to the max so it's not for the light hearted and barely committed.......but if you can survive this then surely it's the best idicator of your long term compatibility!
Hope it works out for you! Bella
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