a little Saturday morn self reflection.

I can't help but feel sometimes, as I peruse the internet, too much of our focus as 'mental health professionals', psychotherapists, counsellors, therapists....call us what you like, is aimed at connecting with and impressing other 'professionals' with our skills, knowledge and qualifications.

I call it mutual stroking and it has very little to do with reaching out to those who could really benefit from connecting to us.


After all that's what it's really about isn't it? What we 'do'....connection....that's where the real healing takes place, no matter how complex the 'issue'. My life has taught me this is the simple truth.

Everything at it's core is a relational issue ultimately, not a personal academic challenge to be reasoned with. Our brains do not control our 'being' ... this I have come to understand is the fundamental human default. That's why talking something to death will never change anything alone. It's an entirely other process at work, or not...that affects inner change in a person and possibly changes in their behaviour as a result.

We heal through relationship, whether we like to accept it or not, probably because it's so incredibly simple and we don't get to show off quite so much prestige if 'all we do is listen' and love.
I believe this is a fundamental human truth and all else is ego.

I say this humbly as one who loves a puzzle myself, and who also loves to be seen to be clever and wise. My ego is right out in front a lot of the time too, that's me being totally honest. Where's yours?

But people are not puzzles for our minds to solve....or are they? Is that what some of us are? Do we enjoy the challenge of a challenging client a little too personally? Do we invest more in the method than the outcome? Prefer 'practicing' rather than getting personal?

People aren't our clients really....or maybe I'm thinking they shouldn't be? I'm not sure today. People are opportunities for relating...yes okay, skillfully and mindfully relating....for sharing and connecting, and yes for loving.

All else is just frosting on a humanist cake that tastes pretty good without it! And is probably better for us too!

My rebellious child is out to play today! I love it! So refreshing.

Shaking things up in my head is a necessary process, else like still waters, my thinking is liable to sediment and stagnate, choking out the possibility of new growth....which wouldn't be good would it?! Comfortable maybe but not good.

Have a great weekend everyone. Enjoy each other.                                
Bella