Domestic nightmare!

For the past couple of days this sickening image has haunted me like it has so many of you, I'm sure. This chilling snap shot has an instant reawakening effect. The sleeping dragon that lives way back in the closet for so many women, opens a terrifying eye and stares at us from our tv's, newspapers, magazines and iphones....domestic nightmares familiar to so many women, relived in every deplorable detail through Nigella's eyes.

It would seem even my own box has been sprung open with the force of this image. Thrown before me, "as if to say hah you thought you had escaped" my own personal collection of vile memories.

Father's Day reflections.

http://elle-gee-.artistwebsites.com/

Fathers Day........what does it this mean for you? A day to celebrate your Dad or a day to wish you had had one....a nice one maybe? or anyone at all?  Dad's are important, hard as that maybe to admit for some....good, bad or indifferent, they are a part of us, inseperable from us and our psychi's.  It's worth coming to terms with this reality or you may find you're carrying it around like a heavy box you may never open but have to find room for wherever you live.

For me this has always been a difficult day but it changed shape altogether for me last year when my Father died unexpectedly suddenly of cancer, without a word to my sister or myself.....no time to re-connect, no time to say goodbye, no time at all! No words, no note even, no last days, no new memories....just a hole, a nothingness.....what do I do with that? What do I fill it with? Should I even try?

How do we cope with death, with grief and with loss when there can be no reconciling....it's very hard as I'm sure any of you out there who've experienced similar feelings will know.

Inspiring reading.

http://www.newdawncollections.com/modern.htm

"The dialectic of transcendence is about drawing truth from trauma, realizing that the deep truths of the abyss are well worth having and that we can build on those foundations more surely than on any surface."  Emmy Van Deurzen.

http://www.emmyvandeurzen.com/?page_id=126

Emmy Van Deurzen is a long time favourite of mine, revisiting her work is like home-made lemonade on a sunny day...perfect revival for the weary thinker.

Reality check

ya gotta face it when you're actually trying to convince yourself your knickers must have shrunk...it's time to put down the minstrels!

— Bella Teeple (@BellaBellaLive) June 14, 2013

Seeing is believing....what do you see?

  

This sounds incredibly simplistic doesn't it and even a little patronising, especially if things in your life aren't going so well! What does it mean anyway? 

Well 'seeing' in this context is much more than observing, it really means believing, as the old saying goes.....

Our beliefs are the result of our interpretion of what we see,  and the meaning and value we attribute to it.  This is a really complex internal process happening of out of our awareness, with it's roots burried deep within our psychi, grounded in the fertile soil of our earliest socialisation.

This is stuff we learn from babyhood as we gaze at the faces around us and guage their reactions to what they 'see' happening inside and outside and around us all the time. They are the mirrors from whom we literaly learn the meaning of life.

Our beliefs are fundamental to who we 'know' ourselves to be, and therefore what we believe we may also become! This is why it's well worth taking a look at this area of ourselves, and uncovering and challenging any unhelpful beliefs that maybe limiting our potential sucess... for me this means my happiness.

How we translate our observations shapes our self perceptions and therefore our sense of self efficacy.  This ultimately influences our actions and therefore shapes the outcome and our experince........which.... reinforces our self beliefs and our beliefs about life and the world in general. It really is that simple! And so it goes, round and round...on and on....and nothing can change until our beliefs change!

Doing the necessary personal work to get to the bottom of what you 'see' and what you believe, and understanding how these values shape our entire sense of self, and our children's, takes a little focused application but not necessarily years in therapy. There's lots you can do to help figure yourself out and make positive life changing adjustments in your attitude and circumstances. It's not a quick fix route to sucess...well that depends how you translate sucess I suppose but it is definately a necessary psychological detox without which you might never realise your full personal potential!

Here's an article you may find helpful

http://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/core-beliefs-cbt.htm 

If you would like to dig a little deeper and spend some time talking through the feelings this piece of work brings up for you feel free to get in touch. Sometimes we just need someone to hear our thoughts before we can box them up...sometimes we hang onto them for years till we find the right person and the right opportunity. Drop me a line at    bellasbubble@gmail.com

Intelligence is Beautiful!

I love this! And it's true! What's more....intelligence is beautiful....it's sexy, it's sassy....it's challenging! But only for some people.....people with smaller capacities who feel threatened by others brilliance!

Don't let small minded, ignorant people be your reason for dimming your light! Shine bright and be a beacon for all those like you who maybe lost in the dark and for those who would rather live in your light and have it's reflection magnify their lives than be without it, living in the shadows.

So, whichever way you look at it, being BRIGHT is a good thing!! So shine your brightest and be a beautiful light in the world today.

It's a uniquely satisfying feeling knowing....

...my thoughts are circulating the wide world, and some where, someone is sharing them with me!

I'd love to know who you are! Come join me, lets connect!

Age Gracefully? What does this mean anyway?

As I tentitively, self consciously, rationally and dare I admit it excitedly.... pushed the button on my first ever order of (all natural!!) diet pills today, I knew I had crossed a threshold within myself and passed a point of no return! I had embarked discretely down the route of chemical warfare! Was this good for me, or was it bad? I'm not sure?!

Was I fighting a worthy battle, defending my right to be youthful and sexy for as long as I could afford to.... or capitulating? Was my purchase a moral self defeat? Did I succome to the media driven, relentless, inevitable tide of insecurity and self doubt that creeps up hard and fast once we cross the 40 something threshold? Has my resistance played right into their hands....they who drive social trends and cultural expectations?

Why am I even thinking about it this deeply? Is it guilt I feel for wasting money on my vanity? Maybe! Guilty for cheating, maybe!  Guilty for allowing myself to be seduced by the 'science' and the 90 day money back guarantee, maybe!

Really it's of no consequence anyway... it's as simple as this, I want to wear a sassy monokini this year, not a black 'mummy one-piece' with build in controls and matching cover-up. And I'm to darn lazy to excercise excessively when there's an easy alternative at my finger tips! So it's a morale defeat as well as a moral one? And you know what I don't really care!
What's happened to me?! Aging...that's what's happened! And it's not graceful or anything noble, it's just depressing!

How many of us put ourselves through these sorts of interogations? I doubt I'm the only one, we women are such harsh self critics, it's no wonder there's little grace to be found in the beauty market.

If you look at nothing else, take a few mins to watch this! It simply says it all!

This remarkably humble lady, Alice Herz-Sommer, has the answers to life's most challenging questions....what's more she is qualified beyond any doubt with the wisdom and of a survivor and the Grace of the Spirit. This isn't a religious issue for me, I'm not here to chat about that....for me it's a fundamental human truth that transcends all regious retoric and hits home to the Spirit within us all.

Do take a few minutes to let this message penetrate deep within you. I belive it has the power to free your spirit from the trivial cares and worries that afflict so many of us today. I believe we can all find a peaceful respite in the simplicity of Alice's wise words.

Another holocaust survivor who has inspired me with similar wisdom is Viktor Frankl. You might like to check out his work. http://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/viktor-frankl/

I hope you find this as inspiring as me. I hope it helps you in some way to find happiness in your day today. 

Let it all go...and dance!

                                               https://www.facebook.com/WholarianVision

I loved this pic the second I saw it....reminds me of me and the intense pleasure I feel dancing. I just love music, all sorts of music...and I LOVE to dance, wild an free! I believe it's in my DNA, in my soul. How about you? When was the last time you threw back your head, spread your arms and let the rhythm take you back to your roots?! Try it, it's totally invigorating and rejuvenating...has all sorts of wonderful pay offs! Enjoy!

"Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances."

~ Maya Angelou

There's tons written about the benefits of dance for the Mind, Body and Spirit.

While focus of these articles is mostly around physical fitness and mental acuity, even sociability.....there are wonderful side effects of dance that aren't so often written about that I think we should include here - Make no mistake about it dancing is sexy, it's sensual, it's errotic...yes even ballroom! It's intimate and it's connected.....all this translates into great foreplay for couples looking to connect on a whole other level. 

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Spiritual-Awakenings-%E0%A5%90/105433989565465

Circle of Moms

http://www.circleofmoms.com

Anyone belong to this group? I just joined : ) 

5 reasons to love advocados

  http://www.besthealthmag.ca/eat-well/healthy-eating/5-reasons-to-eat-more-avocados

Good for you in just about everyway I can think of! Besides being super healthy they're a feel good food fave of mine! Luckily I can eat all I like in Cyprus....judging from this article, they're a super good for you and baby food....if we ate more advocados, lots of bananas and loved each other often I have no doubt we'd all live to be 120 at least!

Sexy Stress Relieving Tips!

                            Bananas and kisses for Breakfast...feel good therapy at it's very best!
                                                   Have a great weekend everyone!

                     http://www.realbeauty.com/health/wellness/sex-stress-relief#slide-1